Coasting Along

By Jackie Deal

Two L.O.L.s (Little Old Ladies) camping on the Oregon coast for two weeks. Safely parked and now exploring.  The R.V. park was south of town; driving into town they passed a sign, “Darlingtonia ¼ mile”.   LOL #1:  “Sounds interesting.

LOL #2: “Do you suppose it’s a town?  A park?  A Lake. We’ll check it out later.”

Over the bridge and into …… #2:  “Turn!  Turn right here.  NOW!”

#1:  “I missed it.”

#2:  No problem.  We’ll just go down and around and around and ….  Are you sure we aren’t going back to the park?”

#1.  “No, we haven’t crossed the river yet.  Oh, look there’s the river.”

Old Town on the river is several blocks long with a good parking lot on the far end.

#2:”There’s Mo’s.  Don’t you think it’s time for clam chowder?”

#1:  “Let’s walk through this store first.   I need to buy a kite-two kites- for the grandkids.”   Twenty minutes later #1 has a big, beautiful blingy new purse.  No kites.

After chowder they began to patronize every store on the waterfront.  #2:”Look! There’s the place that has high English Tea.”

#1:“Tomorrow.”  Tomorrow does come.  #2 is an aficionado of English novels and knows that English Tea always means cucumber sandwiches.   Have you ever had a cucumber sandwich? Well, neither had they. So into the tea they went.  Very elegant.  Very expensive (very!) Amazingly, the cucumber sandwiches were delicious.  Soft, fluffy, non-nutritious white bread.  Crusts removed and cut into cute little triangles.  Thin sliced cucumber and “clotted cream”.  (Turns out it’s very much like cream cheese.)

The tea came in adorable little pots with neat little strainers.  #2 forgot to use the strainer and chewed her tea.   Dessert?  The menu DID say “mini-dessert”. One small cracker-cookie and a dice-cube sized frosted cake, complete with a cute little pink frosting bow.  (#2 has now learned that that’s called a petit-fore.)

Meals were expensive.  #2 kept suggesting “We go to Burger King and get their 2 burgers for $1 and we average out the meal cost.”  #1 wouldn’t fall for it.  They did go to the “48 different kinds of ice cream” place.  Have you ever been confronted with 48 kinds of ice cream and had to make a choice?  No, they won’t let you sample all of them.

North, South, East. They explored every road.  West meant parking fees.  The Oregon Coast is free to all but it costs to park.  5$ a day or $35 annual.  They decided the pass was probably cheaper than the fine.

Darlingtonia.   Aw, time to find Darlingtonia.    The sign said ¼ mile.  There were three unmarked, inauspicious roads turning off.

Day 1:  they overshot all three.  Day 2: they tried #1 road, Oops!  Private Property.  Day 3: they tried the third road.  Nope.  Day 4:  they tried the middle road.  Ahah!   Darlingtonia. Turns out Darlingtonia is a carnivorous lily plant that EATS bugs!  The booms are big, beautiful, bright yellow.  How educational!

Did they ever get lost?  Of course not!  They had GPS.  #2 was driving, “We’re headed South back to the camp.”

#1:  “The GPS says N.”

#2:  “N?  Does that mean North?”

#1: “Yes, we’re going North.”

#2:  “Can’t be.  It feels like South.”

#1:  “N means North.”

#2: “But it feels like South.”

#1:  “We’re gonna end up in Canada.”

#2:  (sotto voce):”Gotta go through Washington first.  OOPS!  We’re at the edge of town- the North edge”.

But you see, they weren’t lost. They just went the wrong way.