The Case of the Kidnapped Housekeepers

One thing’s for certain at The Home For Senior Delinquents. Every day is a new adventure. Breakfast this morning. We have a buffet breakfast that starts at eight am. Some of our folks get there ten to fifteen minutes early, so that,1) they get their fair share,2)they can get their fair share and load up their walkers for later, or never, or for the cat. 3) They have important stuff to do. Like napping.

This morning, Fran, our wonderful cook had to hand out two pieces of bacon per person. See, the people hovering in line are like vultures. Waiting to strip the bones of their prey. Somehow an entire pan of bacon can disappear within minutes. It’s bad enough when the inmates load up their walkers, but, the highest flying and deepest diving are the caregivers. See, some of our inmates are somehow infirm. They hire people to assist them in various ways. Some of these caring individuals swoop in and take enough food for the inmate, themselves, and their seven starving grandchildren. It seems that bacon can turn people into pigs. How’s that for irony?

I could fill a lot of pages describing our various people. Today I’ll concentrate on: The Villain, The Driver, Three Housekeepers, and The Hero.

Walking out of the dining room, I heard Joan. raging at Ronnie, our driver.
So as not to give the wrong impression, I understand that Joan was happy and said nice things. Once upon a time. It could have been when Truman was president and the world changed. “That’ll fix ‘em “ she might have said.

To describe Joan as a vicious, vituperative harridan might be extreme. Or not.
It’s been said that if her walker could fly, they might reconvene the dunking in Salem. Massachusetts, not Oregon. And not donuts.Sorry if I misled you.

As I walk to the elevator Joan is still barking at Ronnie. He’s getting her wrath because for the last six weeks we have had no one on the front desk. Hey, bacon ain’t free you know.

“ I got a call that my housekeeper is sick, she screeched. Time to check the rabies tag? You gotta tell them that I demand that somebody come up and change my sheets and make my bed. Towels. I want clean towels too. And my floor. They gotta clean it. I got rights. I pay my rent. You tell them to get up there now. And another G.. D… thing, tell the kitchen not to let anyone sit in my chair in the dining room. I’ve been here…

Elevator door opens. Inside are three housekeepers, rolling carts, and all. As they start to get out, I, the hero after all, block the door, walk in, backing everyone up, and tell them they are all being kidnapped. For their own good.
I explain that Joan is on the warpath and wants all of your heads. So, up to the fifth floor we go. Three Housekeepers, three rolling carts, and one hero. We all go our separate ways. Another potential disaster averted.

Just another day at the Home For Senior Delinquents. Hey, I just had a thought. Maybe I should have gone over to Joan, opened her walker and handed her eight or nine pieces of bacon to calm her down. What do you think?

Fred Prout

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New Jacks & Jills Page Under “Organizations”

We now have a page dedicated just to Jacks & Jills.  You can find in in the main menu structure under “Organizations”.  The minutes from their most recent meetings will now be posted there.   [Link]

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Social Hour April 19th, 3pm

Unless there is a fire on Friday afternoon, a member of the Sutherlin Fire Department will be here to discuss the fire extinguishers we keep in our homes. We want you to actually bring that extinguisher you pass by daily and occasionally wonder about how exactly it works and if it is up to date in case you need it. This is a safety program not to miss.

Sharon Elliott #36

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Do Unto Others

by Jackie Barker (lot 130)

The whole world seems to be going crazy. Road rage, looting of stores by gangs and Karens beyond count are in the news every day. What can be done to stop these insane behaviors?

Perhaps the easiest is to go back to the basic foundation of nearly all religions. They speak of how we should treat our fellow beings. If before you yelled at the driver of another car that annoyed you, you think of how it makes you feel if that driver yelled at you, you then make the world a more peaceful place by smiling instead.

If the looting gangs should think of the Daoism teaching before tearing up a store, “Regard your neighbors gains your own gain and your neighbor loss as your own loss”. Would they still cause all the damage? Probably not, think of how much goodness would be in the neighborhood.

And all the Karens of the world should listen to the Judaism lesson. “That which is despicable to you do not do to your fellow and the rest is commentary, go and learn it.” That would stop a lot of the public confrontations over parking spaces and fence lines and children laughing and playing. Ah, blessed peace and quiet.

Other examples are everywhere.

Buddhism, “Hurt not others with that which pains yourself”

Judaism, “That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah, and the rest is commentary, go and learn it”.

Confucianism, “Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire”.

Of course, then one most of us know, the Christian Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Such a brilliant plan for a peaceful life.

Donald W. Pfaff, PhD. Neuroscientist remarked “If it’s really true that all religions have this ethical principle, across continents and across centuries then it is more likely to have a hardwired scientific basis than it was just a neighborhood custom’. Wouldn’t it be great if some powerful entity would just flip the switch and turn it on in all minds?

Peace brother.

Jackie Barker


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Open Budget Workshop Friday, April 19, 1 PM

The Board of Directors is having an open workshop with the Finance Committee on Friday, April 19, 2024, at 1 PM in the Big Room.  The purpose of the workshop is to review and discuss the proposed Fiscal Year 2024-2025 Budget with the Board.  Committee Chairs and Co-chairs with budget requests are encouraged to be present to answer questions, if any. This workshop is open to all members.

Submitted by Dar Hoch

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TV Log for April 14

If your mobile device does not allow you to view the entire Log, click this link to open the Log in a new window.

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The Kitchen Stove is back in Action

The parts for the stove have arrived and are now installed. The stove is now usable. Thank you to all those for making this happen.

Sue Eytalis

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Garden Talk at Social Hour this Friday, April 12, 3pm

We will have speakers on Friday. This includes Master Gardeners Kish Doyle and Jeanie
Owen. They will be speaking on how to deal with local pests and also companion planting or what plants along together and which do not.

Whether you have a garden bed up on the hill or on your lot, or have only flowers, or are
thinking about any of the above, come and learn.

Socialization activity happens here!!! Bring a snack to share plus BYOB or enjoy wine on us.

Sharon Elliott #36

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Michelle Van Westen, In Memoriam

She was vibrant, enthusiastic, and energetic.  When Michelle entered a room, she lit it up with the sparkle of her personality. She inspired all who knew her and her life was extinguished all too soon. It has taken some time to pull together the many strands of her life from her surviving children and her husband, David; but it is hoped the results are worth waiting for.

Michelle Alba-Lim Van Westen was born on May 26, 1954, in Cebu City, Cebu, Philippines.  While her father was alive, the family lived relatively comfortably; able to buy ice cream and take family trips.  After his death, the family had to move in with grandparents, and Michelle was forced to quit school.  

When she was able to return to school she graduated from high school as class valedictorian. She then attended the University of San Carlos on a full scholarship graduating with honors.  An early and abusive marriage resulted in four children who still survive her. 

She traveled to many countries for business and pleasure including Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Hong Kong, India, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand, and continental Europe. In 2008 she was granted Permanent US Residency and she became a citizen Nov. 28, 2018.

She held the position of Human Resources Development Manager in the Philippines and the United States before she received a Master’s Degree in Education from the University of Phoenix. In 2013 she was a Training and Development Specialist for 7 Feathers.

She was an avid Toastmaster and received over 40 awards and certifications from Toastmasters International.  She started the Toastmasters group in Oakland, which later moved to Roseburg.

Michelle met David Van Westen on May 18, 2020, after a Timber Valley member assured her he was a “good guy”.  They traveled extensively, RVing, and also taking a three-week Panama Canal cruise and two cruises throughout the Mediterranean.   She and David were married on Nov. 10, 2023, in a beautiful and touching ceremony in Timber Valley Park.  

Michelle bravely battled cancer for several months.  She died as graciously as she lived on March 12, 2024.

She is deeply missed by her four surviving children, Johanne, Mark, Kristine and Katherine, and her loving husband David who attributed the three-plus happiest years of his life to his short and wonderful marriage to Michelle.

A memorial service is planned for May 25 at 1 p.m. at Timber Valley Park.


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NOTICE: Recycling Can, Smoking, and the Kitchen Stove

  1. The can with a sign on it outside of the clubhouse door and the kitchen door is for recycling aluminum.  Please do not put papers or any other garbage in this can. It contaminates the recycling.
  2. There is no smoking allowed within 10 feet of the clubhouse. Do Not put any containers next to the building to dispose of cigarette butts. This is not acceptable. Someone had put two such containers next to the building and these containers have been removed by park staff.
  3. The parts for the stove have not been received from the vendor, so the stove is not to be used by members or non-members until the parts have been received, installed, and the stove is determined to be safe.  Once this happens the stove will once again be available. Sorry for the inconvenience but this is for the safety of members and non-members of the Park.

Sue Eytalis
Board President

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New Order for Timber Valley Badges

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An Early Thanksgiving Story (with many versus)

By Fred Prout

I’ve been quiet for a while. Among other reasons, I fell in love. Yeah, that too, but I also fell in love with last year’s Thanksgiving Story. I’ve tried and tried to put pen to paper but, I was so moved by the events chronicled in John Tucker’s story, nothing I tried to say came close to the emotions I felt in the hearing, revising and telling about John Tucker and his story. Since I started  my story telling, I’ve given you maybe sixty stories. Some, I’m proud to say, have been pretty damn good. A few mediocre. A couple absolute crap. For those of you who are new to my scribbles, I’m asking the gurus in charge to rerun last year’s story as a kinda prequel.

For those of you who are easily offended, now might be a good time to put this down and turn on The Price Is Right. Or maybe a NASCAR race.

This piece should be written for the anniversary of John Tucker’s death. But that’s in late November. By the time events of early November roll around, some of you may be cracking open the third case of Bud Light in celebration. Some of you might be trying to learn the words to O Canada. Very little in between. That’s the problem. There is simply no between.  I’ve taken the liberty of assuming that you all are aware of what’s been happening in our country. If I have over estimated anyone, please reread the previous paragraph.

John Tucker saw a lot in his life. Some good, some bad. Most of it in the between. He bore witness to many changes. I’m sure that ,like many of us, his politics wavered from center left to center right and back again. I’m pretty sure that he never went too far from the center part. People who knew him said he was always open minded. John Tucker was a private person. No one knew him well but, in talking to a whole lot of people he interacted with, I learned a lot. There are also a lot of blanks to fill in.

John Tucker lived through a time when he was in school and his non Caucasian friends were considered three fifths of a person. He heard stories about aunts, uncles and cousins being incinerated like trash. Not human. Garbage.

As a child John Tucker watched TV as the cowboys massacred the Indians. Guns versus bow and arrows. As an adult, his best friend was an Ojibwa Indian. He didn’t find it entertaining.

John Tucker lived in a time when Polio, measles and other diseases were eradicated. Gone forever. Wiped out. And he watched helplessly as they started coming back. John Tucker lived through the most recent scourge. Covid. He waived his right to inflict pain, suffering and death to others by doing what he was told.And he believed he  was right. Others decided to listen to the naysayers. They got sick and maybe passed the virus on to others. Maybe their own children. Because someone said they had the right to do so.

John Tucker lived in a time when school children were shot and killed en masse. He lived in a time when school children did the shooting. A time when it was perfectly acceptable to provide the necessary equipment to cause these tragedies. John Tucker felt very pained by this because he also was a killer. Licensed and trained by his government. Before they gave him a medal and kicked him to the curb. Before he got up and became a hero to many of us. A large part of our lives.

John Tucker lived through a time when, in fact, our country was truly United. Against a common enemy. It was us versus them. Them being easily identified as the bad guys. He witnessed the beginning of  us versus us. Divisions so deep as to seem insurmountable. He applauded when a wall came down. He watched as many of his countrymen begged for a wall to be put up. He lived in a time when we voted for people to serve us, not themselves. 

We, as what we call the Human Race, have always been divided. Us versus them. Rich versus poor. Romans versus Christians. Jews versus Muslims. Them versus us. Black versus white. Extremist versus extremist. You and I caught in the middle. In the between. We try to live our lives and do the right thing. We try to teach our children to do the same. All the while, being bombarded with distorted words and ideas that  cause hate and confusion.  And more hate.  And more division.

What can be done? I don’t really know. But maybe we can try. Personally, I am in a relationship with someone who has some values and thoughts that are diametrically opposed to mine. We understood this in the beginning and decided that we would respect each other’s views. That neither of us had to be right. Or wrong.That we would accept each other as we are and love each other for who we are. Maybe we all, one by one, can have a conversation with someone we disagree with and just talk. Let them know that you don’t agree with all they stand for, but neither of you is wrong. Or right. Just different. How could it hurt. Maybe if someone would just start. One conversation at a time. What do you think? Wanna talk?

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Henrietta Hedgehog Ready for Spring!

Henrietta Hedgehog is all decked out and ready for Spring! She is anxiously waiting for warmer and drier weather. She continues to brighten the window box in the Office and brings smiles to those who notice her.

~ Kim

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Propane Safety Reminders

As many of us here in the park use propane, it is important that we stay current on safety and proper procedures. The Propane Education and Research Council offers helpful safety tips and reminders at the link below:

Important Propane Safety Information

Please note that the Timber Valley Rules and Regulations state that “All propane cylinders outside the RV must be anchored so they cannot be knocked over. Maximum size is 30 gallons. (01/08/92; 03/13/14)”

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March 2024 Newsletter from the President and More on the Member’s Only Page

Check out the March 2024 Newsletter from the President of the Board, and keep apprised of park actions with the Board Action Tracker on the Member’s Only page. Both are intended to keep members of the Park informed. The web admin team is in the process of organizing this page for easier readability 🙂

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Social Hour March 29th, 3pm in the Clubhouse

We have some really talented members in our park. One of them is Valerie Knowles and she will be telling and showing how to spin yarn along with other soft materials to make fabric. That fabric then is made into clothing. Let’s attend and learn this skill.

Come, socialize, enjoy a snack and have fun!!!

Sharon Elliott #36

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Thursday Movie Night 5pm

MOVIE NIGHT March 15th, 2024

It was heartwarming to witness 15 Timber Valley residents sharing movie night and experiencing a roller-coaster of emotions while watching “The Man from Snowy River”! 🎥🌟

The rugged Australian wilderness, the courage of Jim Craig, and the breathtaking landscapes must have left a lasting impression. Whether it was the thrill of the chase, the bond between characters, or the stunning visuals, this classic film has a way of captivating its audience.

As the credits rolled, perhaps they imagined themselves riding alongside Jim, galloping through the high country, and feeling the wind in their hair. 🐎❤️

May this shared cinematic experience continue to bring joy and camaraderie to the Timber Valley community! 🍿👏

And a special Thank You to Lois and Royce (our resident Aussies) for providing the behind the scenes commentary.

This Thursday please join us for “On Golden Pond”. 5pm FREE Popcorn & Cartoons, movie starts at 5:30. Hope to see you there.

–Richard Hickethier

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Thursday March 28 @ 5pm Movie Night – On Golden Pond

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Friday March 22 @ 3pm Social Hour

Do you have a Costco membership so you can shop at a warehouse? If you buy in bulk or can store large containers, there are bargains. Our speaker on Friday will be Sheri Notemboom, who will tell us about services you might not know about but are entitled to as a member. In addition, there will be raffle prizes and snacks. Don’t miss this special guest.

–Sharon Elliott

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Request for Bicycle-Related Donations for Hastings Village

From Dennis Hellawell:

I’m donating a good bicycle to Hastings Village. I’d like to include a bike pump, a few bike helmets and a bike lock. If anyone has any of these items to donate contact Dennis Hellawell 541 315 8642 or at

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