By Fred Prout
Sometimes the most frustrating and aggravating situations can turn into fun stories. Ordinary, every day chores can get you so mad you have to work hard to find the funny side. An eye doctor’s appointment that went completely sideways for example. Telling some friends about the misadventures involving new glasses, I unintentionally said the words that became the punch line for this story. So I took the punch line and built the story around it. Suddenly, all the pent up anger and frustration of over two months went poof. Gone. This whole story is intended to get to the punch line. So, no peeking. No matter what. Really!!!
Not too long ago, I went to Doctor Strabismus for an eye exam. Nice Doc, friendly staff, state of the art equipment, what could go wrong? Ha! Finish exam, pick out frames, get trifocals placement, give insurance card, pay copay. “We’ll call you in a week or ten days.” Now, for those of you who may be unfamiliar with trifocals, the top part is for seeing distance and most of what you want to see. The middle part is to see things like the dashboard of your car. Speedometer and such. Very important. The bottom is for close work like reading. Or writing.
Remember. No peeking. I’m watching.
Glasses are ready, walk into the office and Frau Blucher smiles and hands me my new glasses. Nice new case and a lint free cleaning cloth at no additional charge. Right away I realized the dividing lines are misplaced. If I looked straight ahead I had to look through two different parts of the lens, or, wear them halfway down my nose. To their credit, they did include a prism in one lens. Without said prism, I see double. Not good. So Frau Blucher smiles and says “No problem, I’ll have them remake the lenses.” Two weeks later, new lenses are in. They put them in the frames, and, double vision. No prisms. Back they go. I might mention that my customary patience and sang froid are starting to be slightly stretched.
Remember, no peeking.
Three weeks later, having not gotten a call, I have to call them. They check the lab. Glasses were sent, but, never received. “We will call again and expedite.” Magic condescending words.
After a total of two months and almost two weeks, I got tired of playing nice. I walked to the office and insisted on speaking with Doctor Strabismus to get this fixed. Frau Blucher stated the doctor is not in but she would call the lab. By this time, the steam is billowing off my head. Apparently the lab would not cooperate and I got really, I guess, pushy. Frau Blucher goes into the back and comes out with a check. Refunding my copay. It’s signed by the doctor who is not in.
So, in total and absolute frustration, I drive to Costco, and a week later, I have my new glasses. Lines properly located, prism in place and Lisa adjusted them with a smile.
Ok. Thanks for not peeking. The punch line: In order to get a new pair of glasses, I had to make a spectacle of myself.
You. I saw you peeking. Shame on you.
OK, on three, BOOOOOOO
I’d like to say that I saw the punch line coming, but in actuality I sat there goggle eyed the entire time.
Oh, can I relate to your story, Fred!
We surely had the same eye doc. Notice I said “had”!
My triple-error nightmare lasted over 3 months.
SEE ya soon, my friend.
I swear I didn’t peek. And I had a good out loud laugh when I read that punch line. As I’ve said before … Keep up the good work. Thanks Fred!
Again HILARIOUS and well written!!!!!
I have a very similar story ( different doctor/ different issues, but NOT SMOOTH SAILING!!!!)
I’m ready to tear by hair out!!! A surgery that was supposed to help me see better has left me with blurry vision and and now I’m seeing rainbow halos around bright lights!!!! Really??????
Need less to say I can empathize!
Thanks for sharing! Laughing about it DOES help!!!
Another good, if frustrating read, Fred! Thanks for keeping in touch. Timber Valley misses you.
You do have an interesting life. You and my son most times sing praises for Costco. At least you can clearly now. Keep having fun.