By Fred Prout
As many of you know, the light of my life for most of a half century was legally blind. So I am not totally ignorant of the problems and how to get around them as best you can. The other day, a new resident of The Home for Senior Delinquents, mentioned that she couldn’t see her phone. We can all thank her as that inspired this story.
I mentioned the availability of some special equipment that might help, and suggested that she contact the Commission for the Blind. She said she had, and they would send her some reading material. (Listen to my disbelief and outrage).
Sending reading material to someone who told you she can’t see.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe they assumed that someone would read this for her. Maybe she misheard. Maybe my brain just grabbed onto a piece of the irony that I love. Maybe my expectations of public servants exceeded reality. Maybe the world spun around and I didn’t. In my day ( I detest those words) they would have made a referral to local professionals who could go over available resources. Fortunately, this started me thinking about other incongruities.
Recently, I met up with my friend Sally. Her father, Al Manders, is a long time Ratcheds fixture. He helped get her a job in the Ratcheds Cannabis Shoppe. Sally has a great personality and can relate to the various clientele she encounters. The hippies barefoot in their Birkies. The businessman in their polyester socks and polished Florsheims. The soccer moms in their L’eggs and Calvin’s with the kiddos waiting in the minivan. The old hipsters with their sandals and support hos.
Like any sales job, you need to know your customers and your product. Soooo…
An hour every month, it’s all hands on deck for… wait for it… sample time . Product familiarity time. All the Budtenders come in and enable themselves to properly discuss the merits of the various options. I think it’s probably the only job that requires you to flunk a drug test. How long ago would the paddy wagon have been on the way to that clouded parking lot.
Another irony was just explained to me. I must admit that I have not witnessed this phenomenon personally. Only because I am just not that kind of guy. Honest.They tell me that many women spend thousands of dollars and gallons of sweat going to the gym to improve the appearance of their butts. They then buy shirts that fall to mid knee in the back. That way you guys who are so inclined can not see the results of the lost money and sweat. Excuse me, perspiration.
Finally, again. I just saw a sign that says “AUTOMATIC DOOR. PRESS BUTTON TO ACTIVATE” Joly jalapeño, how in the world is that an automatic door?
One last time. I just ate a frozen waffle. The package said “REMOVE WAFFLE FROM PACKAGING BEFORE EATING”
I guess I better send this before I see anything else.
Maybe, just maybe, they will send the blind lady a brochure for a self driving car. Who Knows.