Ratcheds By The Sea

by Fred Prout

The first town meeting of the new year was a doozy. As soon as Mayor, and town doc, Ben Dover opened the meeting, police chief, Patrick Muldoon and officer Gunther Toody reported on a disturbance at The Cave. It seems a packed house was enjoying the music of Colonel Dave and the Norman Invaders when a tourist shouted out a request to “ do some Streisand “. Colonel Dave took offense and made a feline reference to the tourist. Things quickly got out of hand, and owner, Robin Banks had to call for help. Thanks to Patrick and Gunther for defusing a difficult situation. In return for no arrests and anonymity, the tourists agreed to clean up and pay for damages.

The mayor had to leave, so his wife Eileen took over the meeting. She introduced local stylist Hank O’Haire who announced he was changing the name of his business to Hank’s Barber Emporium. He said the previous name The Head Shop was too ambiguous leading to many undesirables coming in the door.

Librarian, Paige Turner thanked everyone for the success of the book sale. Many new books and videos will be purchased from the proceeds. She did mention that they were not able to sell the completed coloring books, so please don’t donate anymore.

Marg, from The Square Circle Wine Shoppe, announced that the weekly tastings have been a huge success. However, since Patrick and Gunther will no longer be able to provide emergency rides, she is requesting contact information from all the ladies who may sip to excess. She also noted that she cannot stock Ripple or Boone’s Farm.

Postmaster, Phil Latel, was asked about improving mail delivery. He said the department was looking into the purchase of two new bicycles and a skateboard.

Dewey Teller, owner of the Slip Inn, reported a large increase in reservations over the past month. He was surprised at the number of people asking if they could continue wearing their masks. He thought everyone would be glad to get rid of them, but better safe than sorry.

Michelle Mahbell, manager of the senior center, said they were temporarily
closed for cleaning due to a misunderstanding. Apparently, retired captain, Jay Hooks, owner of Captain Hooks’ Second Hand Shop, was upset that the M&M cookies seemed to contain a number of Ws. Many of the seniors joined in a food-throwing protest. She also noted that longtime local, Tiberius King, now wishes to be called T Rex. He said that was his original name. His long-time friend Ginnie Mills agreed that it was, so please try to remember to address him accordingly.

Herb and Juanna Marra, owners of the High Tide dispensary, announced that they will now be making emergency deliveries. Just an FYI, the brownies are exceptional.

Also attending were:

Local florist, Seymour Krelborn

Paulina Prentice from Paulina’s Precious Pieces

George Reel from the Bait and Tackle

Father Bill from Saint PeterPauls

Travel agent, Rhonda Bout

Ima and Willie Knott from Kneedle Works Knitting Supplies

Amoco, from Amoco’s Asian Arts

Jimmie Smythe from Jimmie’s Buffet and Margarita bar.

Last, but not least, Rhoda Harley from the Bike Shop.

Well, that’s all the news from Ratcheds, a quirky little town on the beach, where everyone is beautiful, above average, and one degree off-center.
Fred