I am beset by demons.
I don’t know why, but they are increasing their devilish attacks on me with a vengeance. They started slowly a few years ago, when, I guess, they acquired
an effigy doll with my name on it.
The initial attacks were simple. They somehow made it impossible for my body to defluidicize itself all at once. At night. They somehow convinced my body that four wake up calls were better than one. Or two. It’s like they have a magic button and take turns pressing it at will. I can almost hear them laughing their hats off at the result.
I guess even demons get bored, so they have started a new plan of attack.
Sharp pins in the hips, along with a viselike grip on my spine. Where I used to swing right out of bed, it’s now more of a gradual unfolding accompanied by pain and grunting. It is twelve paces to the bathroom and twelve back. It takes just long enough to assure that I’m almost awake when I get back. Even keeping one eye closed.
Fall asleep. Repeat. Four times.
In the morning , the unfolding is accompanied by lifting limbs and trying to insert them into arms and legs of clothes. Shoes? Don’t ask. It now requires thirty or forty steps to warm up the hip joints by waddling to the elevator. Once warmed up, the hips are okay so long as I stay on ground level. I live on a hill.
The demons have also invaded my apartment when I am not there. I know this, because they have altered all of my clothes within the past year. They also replaced my bathroom mirror with one that came from the fun house. Remember them? This mirror distorts my image to make me look like I lost most of my hair and replaced it with a turkey’s wattle. That’s not me, I say. I swear I can hear them laughing in the background.
They also sneak in when I sit down to read a book. I have started trying to catch them by making a note of the time. After reading two pages, I open my eyes and see that an hour has gone by. I am not a slow reader. They reset all my clocks.
And my watch. And my phone.
I don’t know what you demons want, or how to get you to stop this insanity.
Try to find someone else to torment. Just please, when you do leave, show me how to replace that stupid mirror.