by Fred Prout
Rita and I were slow to embrace high tech. We, like many of you, were Luddites. Progress? Who needs it. Of course, all the gadgets on our vehicles were there, so, might as well use them. Satellite radio for five bucks a month when we were traveling? Sure. Good deal. Listen to “our music “.
Cell phones became a must because we couldn’t find a long enough cord to reach the motor home when we did two hundred miles a day. A couple of times stuff happened on the road. So, a necessity. Good old basic flip phones were certainly good enough. Who needed more?
One day we went to Costco and struck up a conversation with the cell phone guy. Rita resisted, but I walked out with a brand new smart phone. Well, if I didn’t like it, I could return it. After three days of frustration, return it I did. Not one to admit defeat, I went back a few months later to give it another shot. Got two. Rita used hers to make and take calls. I, however, got a magical device that I would one day bend to my will. One day. Not today, but one day.
Over time I got email, banking, the know it all “Boggle” ( you want a plug? pay me).
And now, I can answer your phone call on my new hearing aids. Call me and I’ll prove it. Just let me know before you call so I can put them in.
Someone told me that I didn’t have to use my security code (Adamwest/onlytruebatman ) to get it going. I could use facial recognition. It’s
really cool now, when I can just look at the screen and the little lock opens up.
Talk about Open Sesame Seeds!
Of course, that only happens half the time. The other half I get a message “Face doesn’t match.”
Well damn, it’s the same bleeping face you saw twenty minutes ago. I didn’t put on a clown nose or a Groucho mustache. It’s still me!! I haven’t even moved. I was just reading. So half the time I still have to put in the code. Adamwest etc. That’s a pain with those tiny buttons. And they aren’t even really buttons anymore.
And there is so much unnecessary stuff that magically appears. “Boggle” sends me monthly notifications of how I wasted my time. What? Is it chastising me for succumbing to the temptations it foisted on me? It also sends me a monthly travel summary telling me I didn’t go anywhere except to walk my dog . I don’t want a reminder that I didn’t go anywhere. Again.
And yet, I am never without it. Just in case you call. Honest.
I’m writing this on my iPad. I’m afraid my phone will somehow find out what I said and severely punish me. They don’t talk to each other, do they?