Cold Weather III

When you live in Florida there are certain things that seem to be mandated by law.
In no particular order, they are sun, humidity, bugs, time share sales, and visitors. Particularly in cold weather. Particularly when you live within an easy drive to the Mouse House.

Our friends from up north, the Palmers (not their real name) came for a short visit one January day. Now, Harry and Mary are wonderful people. Do anything for you.
Their five, fourteen months apart children were difficult. Actually unmanageable. No, let’s try untrainable. No, that doesn’t describe them. Give me a minute to consult Steven King.

I guess you get the picture.

We were trying to have some adult conversation as the pack ran roughshod through the house and yard. Harry and Mary were oblivious as they were used to the chaos.

At the time we had a small dog named Bandit. He was a Lhasa Apso but everyone thought he was a Shi Tzu. I said he was a Shi Tzu not. When Bandit’s walk time approached, my darling wife suggested I take the kids with me. For a nice long walk. A very long walk. Really long.

Away from their parents, they had an abrupt personality change. They were quiet, polite and somewhat intimidated by being with a strange adult. I explained that they had a big part to play in our adventure. I explained that Bandit was not used to being with kids, so when we got to THE spot, they would have to squat so Bandit would be comfortable doing his business. As we approached one of the busiest corners in town, I saw it was time. Squat, I said. Squat, they did. In unison, five children and one dog squatting on cue.

Cars tooted, walkers applauded, bikers gave thumbs up. It actually worked. Being the responsible adult, I took on the job of disposing of the evidence. I gave it some thought, but I didn’t want to push it…

When we returned home, these now totally intimidated kids very quietly and politely bragged about how proud they were of helping Bandit poop.

Many times during the ensuing forty plus years, when we saw misbehaving children, we would look at each other, and remember when Bandit’s poop patrol tamed five untamable kids.




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7 Responses to Cold Weather III

  1. Kate Bright says:

    Funniest post yet!

  2. Eric says:

    “You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.” – W. Bruce Cameron

  3. Jackie Jones Lot # 102 says:

    Another good one Fred. You are an amazing writer. Keep it up.

  4. Edith Vondall says:

    You seem to have the funniest memories. Maybe I need to look at past adventures a little different and maybe some could be fun and memorable too.

  5. Valerie Knowles says:

    Love your stories, Fred!

  6. L Fletcher says:


  7. Val Carano says:

    Fred … I laughed so hard … I cried!

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