Ailurophile

Posted on March 31, 2021 by Jackie Deal

by Jackie Deal

Yep, I’m an “ailurophile.  Don’t call 911 and it’s okay, I’m not contagious.  An ailurophile is a cat lover.  I’m unemotional, pragmatic, blah, blah, blah; no way could I fall in love with a cat. But there it is, this ten pound black and white tuxedo cat has me hooked by her little white paws. 

By no means am I alone, in 2016 it was reported that there were 90 million dogs and 94 million cats as pets in the U.S. I’ve just bought Amber (my Cat) a scratching post, some new food to try, a new stuffed mousie, some catnip and a (supposed) laser-light toy.  Before you laugh at my expenses how about this?  “The average cat owner spends more than $1,000 annually on each furry friend.”(from Todd Hafer’s delightful book “101 Amazing Things About Cat Lovers”.)

The “supposed” laser toy? My friend Pat had a laser beam that her cat loved to chase around the floor.  The one I bought turned out to be just a tiny flashlight and Amber watched with glowing yellow eyes….my hand and the beam coming from it.  Forget the floor. 

However the scratching post was a big success. I sprayed it with catnip and Amber fell in love.  She scratched it, wrapped all four paws around it, climbed it, bit it, licked it and had a ball. Here’s hoping it will save my one upholstered chair. 

A lot of famous Americans were cat lovers.  Abraham Lincoln was said to feed his son’s cat Tabby with a golden fork at White House dinners.  And of his cat Dixie he said, “She is smarter than my whole Cabinet.  And furthermore she doesn’t talk back.” During the Civil War when visiting General Ulysses S. Grant, Lincoln rescued three freezing kitten and brought them back to join Tabby and Dixie.

Winston Churchill‘s favorite cat was named Nelson and he bragged that it could chase away dogs.  He also had a cat named Jock who ate at the table with him and Churchill would not eat dinner until Jock was present.

I may be an ailurophile but I don’t go to those extremes. I’m determined to teach Amber that she is NOT to climb up on the kitchen sink.  Any other high perch is fair game but I draw the line at sharing my food prep’ area with paws that have been in a litter box.  Amber is not so fastidious; we’ll see who wins. 

 

Posted in Featured, General Interest, Humor | Tagged | 3 Comments

Clubhouse Use Guidelines from the Board

Posted on March 30, 2021 by Thom Hoch

Due to recent improvement in the number of new Covid-19 cases in Douglas County, this is an update and clarification of guidelines for the use of the Clubhouse as of this date.

–> The Clubhouse remains closed for all social activities.

* This closure does not include the Laundry Room.

* Masked individuals may enter the Clubhouse to purchase beverages, an ice cream and may use the Library and Restrooms.

–> Current Standing Committees may hold “in-person” meetings under the following rules:

RULES FOR STANDING COMMITTEES USING CLUBHOUSE
#1) Clubhouse is open to committee meetings of standing sub and ad-hoc committees.
#2) Meetings must be held in the main meeting room.
#3) Strict social distancing must be practiced at all times.
#4) Masks must be worn be everyone present.
#5) Maximum of 23 participants in meeting room.
#6) A social distancing monitor must be appointed and named in the committee minutes.
#7) The person calling the meeting is responsible for area sanitation at the close of meeting.
#8) If microphones are required, the Sound Crew must be notified ahead of time.

Check with the office if you have any questions.

If we stay vigilant and new cases continue to drop, and with a little luck, we may see further improvement as more of our population is vaccinated.  We all look forward to an easing of restrictions as Spring turns to Summer.

Thank You for your Efforts!

The Board

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A Brief History of Time

Posted on March 30, 2021 by webadmin

A Brief History of Time, by Fred Prout
With apologies to Stephen Hawking. Don’t yell. (Sorry,I couldn’t help it.)

Time is not measured by day or night. Or months, years, or seasons.

It used to be, but no more. The past year, many of us realized that time was comprised of rapidly vanishing weeks and months, made up by seemingly thirty seven hour long days. Days drag. Weeks fly. As an unwillingly single man, I find that my perception of time has been determined by one thing.

Laundry day.

I don’t like doing laundry. I hate doing laundry. I inherited the job several years ago even though I’m not mentally qualified for it. Twelve water temperatures? Separate colors? Now you are certainly entitled to your opinion. And I respect that. But, it’s illegal, and I’m not doing it. And if the laundry feds come to check, I still have the pink hankies for proof.

Now, before leaving Timber Valley, I started retiring some of my long time friends and loyal servants. Well worn underwear (Brief history? Get it? ) and socks.
Not all at once. One package at a time. Retiring does not mean disposing. It means going into their own little drawer to hopefully never be called on again. Just be there at rest. Just in case.

My strategy was to buy one package of each when they were on sale at Costco. Save $2.00, get free lunch (remember that?) and usually run into at least one friend to talk to. (Remember that?)

The problem with my strategy, I found, was that no manufacturer of socks or underwear would package seven (that’s one week, folks) together. Nor would they package the same number of either. So it’s impossible to end up with the same number of both.

My goal was to not have to do laundry more than every two weeks and have a couple of days in reserve. Just in case. Plus the retirees. Just in case.

The other problem with my strategy was that different brands went on sale at different times. Gotta buy the sale, right? Not a problem with the socks, and at first, not a problem with the underwear. Until the last sale to complete my fourteen plus.

I will mention the brand, Puma, for all you guys who may fall victim. You may thank me if you wish.

What they failed to mention on the package was that they did not include a fly. There was a picture,of course, but I didn’t want to stand in the aisle of Costco and search for where the fly should be. Nor should I have to. I didn’t even think about it when I opened the package and put them on for the first time. Very comfortable. Almost silky.

Now I don’t think I’m alone in dressing before I have breakfast and four cups of coffee. Which is what I did that first day of Puma. Oh boy! Coffee and breakfast does not have the same predictably as a lemonade slushee on an empty stomach.
But it does have the same inevitability. Ready, set, go.

I’m glad I was at home (where else these days) because if I were in a public restroom, the desperate grabbing and groping trying to find a nonexistent fly, would have, at best, been embarrassing. At worst? I might have called you for bail.

Now, I know the answer to the problem. Cut my losses and replace them at the next Costco sale. Don’t retire them. Dump them. Well, I don’t mean dump. Get rid of. But, coming from a generation that made things last as long as possible, that’s not easy. It goes against nature and years of habit. I know Costco has a very generous return policy, but….. no, I couldn’t. Not with a straight face. Could I ?

In the meantime,I will have to be aware of my underwear. Hey, that rhymes. Another Seuss coming?

A Seuss Laundry Day

Oh my, oh my, oh my I say
This is the dreaded laundry day

I get my clothes I get the soap
The washer’s free, I hope, I hope

Put in the soap, put in my stuff
It fills the basket just enough

So back and forth the water’s sloshing
As I sit and watch, my lunch I’m noshing

So finally clean, into the dryer
Go round and round and please don’t tire

This job I hate, I really hate
I start real early so it won’t go late

And now it’s dry and ready to fold
This stupid job gets really old

And as I sort, I have to try
To check the undies with a fly

Cause much I did learn from the past
The ones with flys do go in last

So they sit on top and come out first
Cause once before, I almost burst

When I really wasn’t aware
Of not having a fly in my underwear.

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest, Humor | Tagged | 9 Comments

His Mama was a Chicken

Posted on March 29, 2021 by webadmin

A Short Story for Kids and Seniors by Ruby Bonham

The little Silkie chicken squirmed on her nest.  That one big egg was about to wear a blister on her bottom side and she was sure she was getting a cramp in her leg.  All of her eggs were Silkie size except one and it was Huge.  She sighed and wriggled a little more, finally getting almost comfortable.  She would sure be glad when those eggs hatched.

Something moved under her and she peeked cautiously underneath.  “Oh my, the big egg is hatching,” she called to her hen friends.

All her friends gathered round and watched as the egg began to crack and pieces fall out of the shell.  A yellowish head flopped out on the ground and the mother hen nearly fainted at the sight.  Surely that thing couldn’t be her baby.  It was big and ugly.

“Cluck,” said the other hens.  They were trying hard to think of something nice to say.  “Er, congratulations,” said one.  “He’s so big,” said another.  

The little hen settled back on the baby to keep him warm.  “Maybe he’ll look better when he dries off,” she thought.  “Oh please let him look better,” she silently pleaded.

Several hours later, the baby poked his head out from under his mother.  He was quite large next to the other babies and had an ugly bump on top of his head.  “Peep,” he said in a deep voice.

The mother hen jumped at the sound and thought she would die of embarrassment.  The other mothers tried to be kind but found it hard to find nice things to say.  No one had ever seen a baby quite like this one.

The other baby chicks didn’t seem to mind, for they were brand new too and didn’t know how to be unkind.  It was true he didn’t understand “Silkie” very good but that was OK.  He had a booming voice some of the chicks envied.  Everyone listened and got out of his way, even when they didn’t know what he was saying.

The mother was a kind, gentle mother and did her very best to teach him how to be a Silkie.  He was so big that when he slept under her wing, he poked out the side.  He had a hard time understanding her and often she would end up standing on her toes and yelling.  Finally he would get it and do as she wished.

All the other babies tried to help with his lessons.  He tried very hard and learned to do most chicken things.  He was still clumsy and slow but the babies liked him anyway.  He had nice long legs and the bump on his head grew into what looked like a bouquet of flowers.  He was rather handsome in a strange sort of way.

One day all the silkie babies were outside the chicken house, scratching in the dirt.  “Mama, mama,” yelled one of the babies.  “Come quick.”

“What’s the matter?”  The mother raced outside, heart pounding

Look!”  yelled the baby.  “There’s a line of babies with that big bird that look just like Junior.”

Sure enough a huge mother bird was walking by and following behind were four babies that looked just like Junior.

“Oh my,” gasped the mother Silkie.  “That’s a peahen.  Junior must be a peacock baby.  How on earth did his egg get in with mine?”

Junior just stood with his beak hanging open, watching the line of babies and mother go by.  Finally he asked, “Mama, am I like those babies?  Do you mean I’m not a Silkie?”  His voice was shaky.

“Yes, you must be a peacock.  It doesn’t matter though, because I love you and you will always be my baby.”  She ruffled her feathers around him.  

The other Silkie babies were very impressed and Junior became their hero in the chicken house.  When he was all grown up, he was taken to live with other peacocks and he learned to speak “Peacock, but he always spoke with a “Silkie” accent.

Ruby Bonham
1998
     

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest | Tagged | 4 Comments

ShakeAlert – Earthquake Early Warning System

Posted on March 28, 2021 by Dick Shanahan

2 pages… please click above to see page 2

Posted in Emer Prep, Featured, General Interest, Safety | 2 Comments

Board Members Needed for 2021 – 2024 Term

Posted on March 27, 2021 by webadmin

The Board of Directors has directed the Election Committee to recruit candidates for the regular yearly openings on the Board. There are three (3) openings for Board Director for a term of 3 years starting in July of this year and expiring in July of 2024.

If you are willing to contribute to the continuity of effective park government and can add a forward looking perspective, please consider applying for one of these positions. 

Interested members will submit a one page resume’ to the office no later than 5 pm on April 23, 2021. Please include a recent photo so park members can more easily identify you.

If you know someone who would fit the bill, why not ask them to join you in submitting their resume’?

Posted in Announcements, General Interest, Volunteer Opportunities | Comments Off on Board Members Needed for 2021 – 2024 Term

Singing in the Rain

Posted on March 26, 2021 by webadmin

SINGING IN THE RAIN by Fred Prout

There are three different stories here , so pay attention !

Among the many musical performers Rita and I absolutely loved, the very top of the list was Judy Collins. Over the years,we saw her in several different venues,from auditorium to small clubs. We loved her music, and had the good fortune to be able to spend a little ( too little) time with her.

Of all the places we saw her, the first one is the most memorable.

We saw an ad that Judy was going to perform outdoors in Groton, Connecticut, 8pm the following Friday. We lived about sixty five miles away,but we would have walked if we had to.

We got to the field about an hour early in a light drizzle. No one was particularly optimistic that the show would go on, but we all waited. Next thing we knew, they were handing out plastic garbage bags to use as rain gear. It was going to pour. A few people left ( better bleacher seats for us) but Judy Collins attracted a die-hard, dedicated group of fans.

We were chatting with our neighbors when we heard bagpipes in the distance. As we looked up, we could see Judy surrounded by two very large Scottish pipers in full regalia, followed by a third Scot holding an umbrella over her head.( A brief aside, when Rita and I were married, we were escorted to and from the church by two Scottish pipers ).

They brought her to the covered outdoor stage and they opened the show with the most inspiring rendition of Amazing Grace we had ever heard. Very few dry eyes among us. The rain worsened, but the audience was transfixed and that set the tone for the next ninety minutes. Not a sound from the audience except applause and the slight rustling of garbage bags. I think she gave us every song she ever sang. Some she wrote, some by Leonard Cohen and Joni Mitchell. A folkies wet dream.

Fast forward a few years.

We were staying outside the marine base in Twenty Nine Palms, California. We got word that the Marine Corps band would perform a concert at two pm that coming Saturday. And best of all,it was free. We were excited.The United States Marine Corps band.Wow!!!

When we took our bleacher seats, the weather was slightly overcast with some clouds rolling in. About fifteen minutes after the show was to start, a marine came out and announced that the concert was canceled because of the weather.

WHAT??????

The United States Marine Corps band was clouded out!

If only I could have summoned those three burly Scots and that tiny Irish lass from Groton.

To any former marines reading this, I apologize for any unintended comparison of the United States Marine Corps band and a group of felines. I’m sure there were reasons beyond the weather.

An unapologetic commercial. If you have never seen a movie called Taking Chance with Kevin Bacon, please try to do so. It takes place partly at Twenty Nine Palms, and is a most insightful portrayal of the character of these wonderful people who serve our country. I know Steve and Jackie have seen it. You should too.

Later that week we went to a concert by The Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus. They put on a wonderful show. As we were getting ready to leave, a chorus member came over to us and thanked us for coming. They had noticed how much we enjoyed the show, and that we were the only ones different in the audience. He asked if Rita would accept a beaded necklace as a souvenir. Of course she did and she treasured it for years.

We chatted for a few minutes, and when he found out that Rita was a music major and a vocalist herself, his eyes lit up. Instant rapport.

Somehow , the irony of our being different, but nonetheless, accepted stayed in our minds forever.

The magic of music.
—
Fred

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest | Tagged | 13 Comments

Cancer Closet #3

Posted on March 25, 2021 by Helaine Hepworth

I am not a patient, I am player.

We are incredibly blessed to have top notch medical facilities right in our community. Mercy Hospital has been judged as one of the top 20 rural hospitals in the country. And with the Community Cancer Center nearby they form the arena where I strive to play my best.

The Doctors are my coaches, the Nurses in the treatment lounge are my cheer leaders. Along the way I have acquired a few personal trainers, people who want to  share their valuable life experiences with me making  my game easier to win.  The others, like me, are there to learn and grow and make ourselves and support teams proud. It is up to us to decide just how hard we will play. To be a part of a team where I am listened to, advised but not controlled,  treated as a person with a name and not just a case file is so very beneficial. They make me want to succeed  and I will play my best.

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest | Tagged | 13 Comments

Resume’s Wanted for Open Board Position

Posted on March 23, 2021 by Thom Hoch

The Board of Directors has directed the Election Committee to seek resume’s from motivated members to complete the Board term vacated by the recent passing of Gene Fisher.  The term of this position will end in July of 2022. If you are interested in contributing your valuable time, please submit your resume’ to the office no later than 5pm on April 1, 2021… this next Thursday. This position will be appointed by the Board in accordance with our bylaws.

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D.S.T., Benson and Lemonade

Posted on March 22, 2021 by webadmin

by Fred Prout

This is not the story I was going to write today. In fact, Rita wanted it locked away forever.  Sorry, my love, but daylight savings time is here. The bars are rattling, and the laughter (I hope ) is directed at the situation. Everyone has been in a similar situation. Just not as … funny.

The Benson Arizona SKP park is forty seven point six miles from the nearest hospital in Tucson. On a very good day, the rush hour drive from Tucson can be done in just under three hours. On a very good day.

Rita had an out patient knee surgery scheduled for ten AM . This means be there by nine for paperwork and waiting. And more waiting. Of course, no food or drinks after midnight. For her. I very kindly waited until she was wheeled into surgery sometime short of eleven.

Now, the devils who plan such things, made sure she was out of recovery just before the start of rush hour. As I was wheeling her out to our van ( thankfully with a full bench rear seat ) I heard the dreaded words: “ I’m thirsty. Stop at Sonic and get me a lemonade slushee. A big one. A very big one.”

“But”

“ I . AM. THIRSTY. “

“Ok” No fool I .

Armed with a forty four ounce lemonade slushee, we arrived at the entrance ramp for I-10. In rush hour. With a forty four ounce lemonade slushee.

Now, a recent scientific journal found that lemonade slushees have a magical property. They are able to travel unimpeded from the mouth to the bladder with only one change. They increase in volume. From forty four ounces to roughly sixty ounces. Very, very quickly.

The nature of I 10 at that point, was that once you enter, in the right lane, you are quickly shuffled to the middle lane. Rush hour traffic assures that you are trapped. Cars and trucks ( lots of trucks) on either side for the next forty five miles. Armed with a forty four ounce lemonade slushee. Soon to become a sixty ounce lemonade slushee.

Now ladies, if you need to take a quick break, I’ll wait.

 

Okay, I see all but one of you made it ok.

At the time, we traveled with an eighty pound dog named Gunnar. Some of you met him. Gunnar always drank lots of water, so we carried an outsized water bowl with a special lid that prevented his water from sloshing out.

See where this is going?

“Fred”

“Yes ?”

“I gotta pee.”

“Really?”

“Really. NOW.”

Out of courtesy, I will eliminate the discussion involving getting the water bowl, (I am driving and no help) arranging clothes, arranging body, placing bowls etc.

You know, sometimes you try to be nice, and it’s not appreciated.

I asked if she wanted me to turn on the inside lights to help her. On I-10. With big trucks on either side.

She came very close to tossing that water bowl, filled with recycled, forty four, now sixty ounce, lemonade slushee.

We made it back to Benson in silence.

Rita, I hope you forgive me for letting this story out of the cage after all these years. I think you would agree that if it gives someone a much needed laugh, it was worth it.

I love you.
—
Fred

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest | Tagged | 11 Comments