Fourth of July, Ratcheds By The Sea

What a great Fourth of July weekend at Ratcheds By The Sea. The weather was perfect. Thirty degrees cooler than inland, and a gentle breeze wafted in from the ocean.

The festivities were nonstop starting Friday morning. By the time Monday closed it’s eyes, residents and visitors alike were thoroughly exhausted and ready for a much needed nap. Have to get ready for tonight’s music extravaganza.

The parade was the longest we ever had here in Ratcheds By The Sea. The streets along the coast were closed for several hours to accommodate the sheer numbers of participants and viewers. The Muldoon brothers led the merry marchers in Car 54. Because of it’s advanced age ( 1961 Ford NYPD patrol car ) it was followed by a tow truck from Eddie Pusser Wrecks. Eddie’s mom, Lucy Lastics, from the Stationary Store, rode shotgun, with Eddie, himself, at the wheel. Michael Rhoda, from Michael Rhoda Boats, towed one of his new speed boats, ” Hallayouya.”

Following along, decked out in Red White and Blue combinations, were many locals with hula hoops, kites, flags and banners. A gigantic patriotic sail, made by local sail maker, Nan Tucket, was carried by a rotating crew of six giggling people.
They were mostly patrons of The Square Circle Wine Shop led by Jay and Kaye who were celebrating their anniversary. Love you guys. The crowd went wild when they saw former high wire artist, Manny Ateer. Too bad Manny Ateer had to fall, but he’s recovering nicely.

Next, Judy Collis, from Judy Collis’s Blue Eyed Collies, sent in the clowns on stilts. Leading the way were local docs Ari Gato, Cy O’Narra, and Harry Chin. Following along, and wobbling comically were local mortician, Gladys Sover, her daughter in law, Wendy Battle Sover, Arlene Pickens from the Resale Shop, and Ellie Fant from the animal shelter. Apparently higher than the others were Trudy Light, from The Ratcheds Bakery, and Awilda Ness from Paradise Poetry. At the tail end of the parade was Professor Onslow Donald, of The Genius Stables, leading six beautiful dancing horses. Well, credit where due, following the tails were DPW supervisor, Phil McCann, and his Bucket brigade.

The parade ended up at The Commons where we heard patriotic speeches by Town Councilman Gerry Manders and Bud Miller from the Package Store. Jack Nichol’s son, Jason, gave an impassioned tribute to Nurse Mildred Ratched, founder of our little town. We also were treated to Preston Roberts playing a trombone solo. Bud also had one of the many vendor’s booths located between Sal Minella’s Discount Fish Market, and Cornelius Cobb’ roasted corn cobs. Patsy Paisano did a huge business selling slices. He and Bud had the longest lines. Except for the Porta Potties. Famous Italian artist, Macki Velli was selling his prints. The Lott sisters, Anita and Awana, from the Ratched Book Emporium, were selling autographed copies of my new book “Squirrel Droppings.” They reported that the unautographed copies sold better. Oh well.

I want to remind one and all that there will be nonstop entertainment tonight starting at six pm. Because of all the fantastic performers, and an anticipated overflow crowd, it will be located at the Perry Masonic hall, located at the corner of Della Street and Penny Lane. Colonel Dave and The Norman Invaders will be the third, and main performers. Preceded by Ruby Watts on second and newcomer, Johnnie Hu’s on first. I sincerely hope you all come out to have a great time and enjoy yourselves.

Well, that’s the latest from Ratcheds By The Sea. A quirky little town on the beach, where everyone is beautiful, above average, and at least one degree off center.

It has been pointed out that some readers may benefit from pronouncing the names aloud.Just thought I’d let you know.

Fred Prout


This entry was posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest, Humor and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Fourth of July, Ratcheds By The Sea

  1. Rick De Young says:

    Happy Fifth of July, or bourbon or vodka, if you prefer.
    Thank you Fred for sharing your with us!
    Best wishes to you,
    Rick De Young

  2. Kate Bright says:


  3. Jackie Jones. Lot #102 says:

    Oh my goodness Fred this is hysterical. I just can’t believe why you were not a writer or a comedian. Will really miss you this summer, but we are not coming up. Keep up the fantastic work. Hugs to you and Kelly.

  4. Val Carano says:

    Bravo Fred … Another masterpiece!

Comments are closed.