by Ruby Bonham

March 1, 2020, the day one life ended and another went into a tailspin of grief. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and others a long time ago. The mind fluctuates in its ability to cope. Looking back.

I had known who Ed was for several years. I had been to see the Traveler’s perform and bought a couple of DVD’s. I had even taken pictures of him and a number of musicians to make a photo album for a handicapped girl who wasn’t coming back to Quartzsite. The photos were of her favorites. It wasn’t until September of 2014 that I talked to him. After a music Jam, he came to me and offered to help me with my budding music. I pretty much blew him off because I knew he had a reputation of being a “womanizer”. Finally in January I agreed to let him help me. He invited me over to help me with my guitar. He was complaining about my strumming. Finally in exasperation, he said “let me show you”. He came behind me and told me to play the chords and he would strum. When he put his arm around me I forgot everything I was doing. I was twitterpated. Stunned, I asked Harlan what happened. He laughed and told me I forgot to play. Ed loved for me to tell this story of how we met. From then on we were a couple – complete. We made our commitment to each other and started on a beautiful life together.

Although we only had 5 years we crammed a lot into it. We were never apart in that time. He completely accepted me and my Asperger quirks because he had a grandson and a great-grandson with Aspergers (high functioning autism). He was living a life of not caring after losing his wife to cancer years before. I had spent a lifetime looking for him but it was worth the wait.

I became the Cookie Lady for his band The Traveler’s and supported him while continuing my own music. Ed had Arterial Heart Disease, was Diabetic and suffered from Neuropathy. I had a lot to learn but gradually his health improved. We traveled, played music lived and loved and were grateful for every day we were blessed with. People who did not know us thought we had been married 30 or 40 years. Sometimes things just work.
So now it is a year later and I still struggle to find who I am without him. He’s still is a part of me. I play our music and have started writing again. Life goes on.

Ruby Bonham 3-1-2021

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10 Responses to REMEMBERING

  1. Jackie Jones. Lot 102 says:

    Ruby you are certainly one of a kind. Thank you for the wonderful conversation we had the other day. You have certainly taught me alot by just being you. Hugs my friend.

  2. Valerie says:

    This is special! Thank you for sharing, Ruby

  3. Valerie Knowles says:

    This is special. Thank you for sharing, Ruby!

  4. Fred says:

    We had the privilege of working with Ed,Steve,Harlan,Nathan and the other members of the Timber Valley band. We always got to the clubhouse early to help set up and that gave us the opportunity to become friends with these wonderful people. Ed we all miss your warmth and charm. Ruby, you are an inspiration of how to overcome grief and turn it into something really great.

    • Kathy Perry #7 says:

      Ruby, the short amount of time I spent with you and ED were blessings to me. You two did gave something VERY special.

  5. Anita says:

    God Bless You, Ruby, and may He continue to keep you in the palm of His hand. Thanks for sharing such sweet memories.

  6. Veanna Fletcher says:

    Ruby thanks for sharing great to hear how someone met and became life partners. I believe we all have a hidden story some place. Thank you again always an inspiration to share your experiences.

  7. Cathy Johnson says:

    Thank you for sharing. It was inspiring to read.
    Life goes on… but we never forget our wonderful times we share with our loved ones.

  8. jackie Deal says:

    OH, Ruby, what a wonderful picture of Ed and the story of your life together. You know that I idolized Ed and I treasure every reminiscence of the times we had in Quartzsite. You are growing, becoming the beautiful person you can be on your own. It’s not easy, but you’re doing it. The world well be a better place because you are in it.

  9. Rick De Young says:

    Thanks for sharing your story with us, Ruby. Many of us here in Timber Valley have had the sad experience of losing their soul mate and it does help to tell the story of your love and good memories. And, even though it is hard to believe at times, being able to write about your loved ones is a big step forward. I truly enjoyed each experience I had with Ed and he never failed to tell me how much he loved and appreciated you. Best wishes.

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