Ed Hedden… Friend, Neighbor… July 7, 2019

Ed, and his beloved wife Pat, who died in 2018

Timber Valley was deeply saddened by the death of Ed Hedden on July 7th. Our grief is only lessened when we realize that his soul is at peace and he is once again with his beloved wife Pat. May they enjoy all eternity together. Our condolences to their children, families and friends.

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I’m including two heartfelt and emotional messages below from long-time members of our park. But if you’re particularly sensitive or feel strongly that certain subjects just shouldn’t be publicly discussed, please stop reading now.  

from Helaine…

Suicide has touched our park and our hearts. Our pride is in being able to take care of ourselves and our neighbors, yet it happened. Why? We may never know. Did we miss some telltale signs? Did we miss a call for help? Were we not attentive enough? Did we see the gentle smile and assumed all was well? Did that smile cover a tortured soul? Maybe.

But we are left with a feeling of loss mixed with guilt. Our heads swim with a sea of “what if” and “ I should have”. We want a do-over. Even if a do-over was possible it is very likely it would have happened anyway. Because we all have free will. As hard as it is to fathom, every BAD has some GOOD. Yes, it is a desperate act, and we hurt, but for that one soul there is peace and rest and the answers to un-asked questions. For us there is a deeper awareness of our neighbors and friends. We will be more cautious in assuming that when friends say they are fine, we will realize that they may not be telling the truth. We can help where we can and only when we are allowed to. We can listen more thoughtfully.

There was nothing we could do to prevent it. Once the decision was made it would be acted on. The guilt is not ours. Our obligation now is to listen, love and support our friends and neighbors.

from Jackie Deal…

We can try to ignore, pretend it never happened. But the memory lingers on.
He was a friend, neighbor,colleague. Quiet. Smiling. Loving. Perhaps he loved too deeply; the loss of his beloved wife, Patricia, was more than he could bare.
As an “honorary Indian” he believed deeply in a “spirit world”. He believed Patricia waited for him and longed for him to join her. For a year he fought depression, pain and an overwhelming desire to join her.

On July 7, 2019 he succumbed to his grief and took his own life. It is not for us to judge; we can only join his family in mourning his passing. His personal Indian totem was a feather, tattooed on his arm and in his heart.

When you see a feather floating in the wind: think of him. When you see a pure white flower: remember his love and grief.  Good bye Ed Hedden. We miss you.

Please leave a comment below if you’re so moved…

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4 Responses to Ed Hedden… Friend, Neighbor… July 7, 2019

  1. Peggy says:

    Well done, Thom, Helaine & Jackie.
    Thank you.
    Peggy

  2. Donna L Hostetter says:

    I also thank all three of you.

  3. Anonymous says:

    We did not know Ed, but what a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing.

    Jim and Martha Brown
    Lot 75

  4. Anonymous says:

    Well done and well written. Thank you for waiting a little while before posting to allow us to individually get our heads around the shock and grief that this could happen in our park and to wrestle with what we could/should/might have done/wished we could have done.

    Margi

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