Dedicated To Steamed Broccoli

I think the incessant rain has kept most of our motley crew hunkered down. A hot drink, a good book and the local classical music station. Not a bad idea. I, however, refuse to give up a single Saturday at the Ratcheds Senior Center. The companionship and conversation is too important. It’s my idea factory. Many of the stories you hopefully read are germinated right here at the big table. I’m sitting with Shirley Knott Shewill Knott, Watson Furst and Bonus Diaz. A very attractive lady saunters over. Watson gets up and pulls out a chair.

She sits and Watson provides introductions. He gives her our names and says “ This young lady is the famous Sacha Deal. You know, the famous Sacha Deal Dollar Store. “

“ Honored to meet you all. Watson told me how welcoming you all are. I’ll say thank you to a mug of coffee. It’s rainy and cold outside . I’m looking at maybe putting a store in the area. Just testing the waters.”

Shirley comes over with the Java and pours. She sits down and pulls out her wallet. “ Gotta show you a picture of my new baby. Look at that gorgeous face. He’s a pure breed Shih Tzu and he’s really smart. Cute little guy, hah.” She pulls out a letter. “ I’ll show you this so you don’t think I’m making it up. When I sent the form in I didn’t name him yet. So I filled out the breed and left the name blank. So look here. His official name is Shih Tzu Knott. Really, Shih Tzu Knott. I’m calling him Woody. How’s that sound?”

“ Well, there’s a Shirley, a Willie, a May and a Dewey Knott. Woody Knott sounds like it belongs.”

Bonus Diaz : “ Watson, why not tell everyone about the lunch robots. I betcha that’ll end up in print someday. It sure had me in stitches. “

“ Well , you know I used to live in that retirement place over in Daisy. My friend Jack Cass called from THE HOME and said you’ve got to come here and see the latest. See if you can get Aggie and Maggie to join you and I’ll buy lunch. So the three of us drive over to see what’s up. First you need a little background. The waiters in the dining room are mainly high school kids. Top of their class. First job and all. Really nice intelligent kids. Very personable. They would always walk with a spring in their step and a smile on their face. When I saw the change I was shocked. It was heartbreaking.

The powers that be bought two robots. They put ribbons on one and named her Posie. The male was Fenster. Someone added google eyes cause they weren’t supposed to run into anyone or anything. All they are are two tiered self propelled bussing carts to put stuff on and let them do the carrying. They are programmed to go to the numbered tables.

The Damia sisters come in and leave their bumbershoots by the door and head our way. Aggie Damia, the former college professor ( hint hint ) grabs a mug and Shirley pours. Maggie Damia ( a real nut, sorry this is the biggest crayon I have) jumps into the conversation. “Watson, were you telling about our lunch? “ Watson nods. “ I know Watson is a little fixated on the robots. Sorry, but I’m bursting to share what I heard. Give me a sec Watson. I happen to have exceptional hearing. The people at the next table not so much. I overheard the conversation “

“ You have such a friendly dog. I bet he doesn’t have any enemies.”

“ NO! Don’t do that. Chocolate is poison for dogs. NO M&Ms!!!

“Who’s getting an enema ?

Hysterical laughter.

Watson:: Thanks Maggie. I was really disturbed watching these formerly vivacious kids slow walking behind the robots. Smiles gone. Replaced with blank looks of boredom. One got so distracted she walked right into
Posie.It was like their spirit was drained. Suddenly, one of the girls had a big grin on her face. Posie ran right into one of the ladies who dropped a half eaten sandwich on the floor. Fenster wheeled over to Posie and gave
what, I guess , was the robot equivalent of a high five and ran right into Nora Lee. She dropped the tray she was holding. It landed on Sal’s lap and Marlene let out a screech and her glass of wine went flying.

Bobbie, the kitchen manager came out to see what was going on. Suddenly the robots started to head straight towards him. He ran back into the kitchen and locked the door. The robots continued on their way but when they got to the staircase, I thought I saw Luna give a hip check and Posie bumped into Fenster and both went crashing down the stairs. Luna denied doing anything but took a bow when everyone applauded.

At that point , my friend, Steve Berkeley went over to one of the tables and asked if he had left a bag there. “ It has my name on it. Steve Berkeley.”

“ STEAMED BROCCOLI? “ was the response.

Yours Truly: “ Thanks for all the story ideas. I’ve had kind of a dry spell lately and this might get the juices flowing.”

That’s all the news from Ratcheds. A quirky little town on the coast where everyone is beautiful, above average and at least one degree off center.

Fred Prout