Points to Ponder

By Ruby Bonham

Before we work on artificial intelligence why don’t we do something about natural stupidity.

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken or a hip hurts.

I really don’t mind getting old but my body is having a major hissy fit.

I really think tossing and turning should count as exercise.

Saint Peter to a new entrant: Well you almost made it except for your language when backing your RV into camping sites.

You know you are getting old when “friends with benefits” means having someone who can drive at night.

Beware of the menopause fairy: At first she steals your figure, then she steals your sleep, next your mood, your patience, your eyesight and finally she eats your brain. All she leaves you with is a lousy mustache, a muffin top, hot flashes, itchy skin, ten million moods, a sketchy memory and an endless need for naps.

I’ve been gooder. I’ve been badder. Many times thinner, lotsa times fatter. There’s stuff I remember and stuff I forget. But I’ve always been me and what you see is what you gets.

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

A dog says: Don’t move me while I am sleeping in the middle of the bed, you have enough room on the edge.

You don’t stop playing music because you get old. You get old because you stop playing music. Play music. Stay young forever.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and zip lining and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. We will always be friends til we are old and senile and then we will be new friends.

Ruby Bonham