Screaming Silence

By Fred Prout

They don’t make noise. You can walk in the door and not hear a thing.

Maybe you can feel a presence. But no sound. The footpads on the carpet are silent. You close the door and feel a gentle nudge. It makes you aware of a second heartbeat. An aura of unconditional love pervades the room. Not a sound. Just an overwhelming sense of togetherness. The silence interrupted by the occasional clinking of a pair of metal tags. “I’m here! I love you! Pet me”. You read, watch tv, go to bed. You don’t hear the breaths. The snores. You are aware of them and are comforted by them.

Sooner than you want, the dreaded day comes. The day to do the necessary. What’s right. No matter how painful. The right thing. If you are extremely fortunate, you have a loved one with you. To share the tears. The grief. To hold you. To be held. To accompany you home. So you don’t hear the silence. Alone.

But, fate, as it will, makes certain that you soon open that door. Alone. The silence screams. It is overpowering in its intensity. It roars. You can’t avoid it.

The room contains almost fifteen years of memories. Shared walks, trips, visits, love. The memories assail you. Screaming silently. The more you cared, the louder the screams of silence.

R.I.P Kelly. 4/15/08 -3/14/23. You brought happiness to all you met.

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12 Responses to Screaming Silence

  1. Barbara Russell says:

    Dear Fred, I am so sorry Kelly is gone. Such a good friend, companion and entertainer.
    I know you will miss him. ❤️

  2. Peggy says:

    Such a sweet memoir…..we all know how much you loved Kellly,( we loved her too) and how much of a loss this must be…..thank you for sharing this important event in your life…..it can be so hard at times!….please know that many thoughts and prayers are with you, and that you have friends who care about and appreciate you very much. You have such a gift for writing – thank you for sharing it! Sending love and hugs your way, Peggy

  3. Edith Vondall says:

    So sorry. I remember the wild one she was when you first got her. But with all the love she really became a great friend.

  4. Eric says:

    So sad, Fred – US Thanksgiving 2002, when I was fortunate enough to meet you and Rita, and unfortunate enough to be forced to say farewell to Zak my Border Collie, (I sat in the truck outside the vet’s and bawled by eyes out), is carved into my soul.

    My heart goes out to you.

    So sad.

  5. Val Carano says:

    I have no words for this one Fred.

  6. Billie Treese says:

    So sorry Fred. That was beautifully written. We have all been there. We lost our little Tara 16 years ago. Was very hard, but so thank-full we still have wonderful memories.
    Billie and Howard Treese
    We still miss all our friends in Timber Valley!

  7. Joan Larson says:

    So sorry that Kelly has moved on. You gave her a wonderful life and the love between you was mutual. Thank you for so eloquently writing how you are coping. Every former pet “parent” has felt that loss but couldn’t manage to say it so completely as you.. Soon you will be able to smile at all the good memories.

  8. Kate Bright says:

    Oh Fred,
    I am so sorry. What heartbreak. Now she is in doggie heaven (that’s where I want to go) with Ginger. . RIP sweet Kelly

  9. Joy Buzalsky says:

    I’m sorry to hear of your loss dear friend. I remember him well. Dear Kelly, was a feisty one but so lovable. I know how much you will miss him and I know the pain of that loss, perhaps he will find my Toby up there in heaven and they will play. You must celebrate his life and remember what a wonderful companion he was.

  10. Glenda Walker says:

    I am so sorry, Fred. Our pets truly are family members. When you are ready, please share more stories about Kelly with those of us who did not have the privilege of knowing her.

  11. Anita C. says:

    Fred, So sorry for your loss. I remember the mornings when we walked. Not a day went by when Kelly didn’t wish me a good morning. Heaven has a place for a wonderful dog like Kelly. Hugs

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