HOW – A Sequel

by Ruby Bonham

After exploring the Whys, I got to thinking about Fred’s Why Nots. Which brought me to HOW. How do we cope with all the Whys.

Each of the whys is an event in our lives that has already happened and cannot be changed. We have no control over the past but we do have control over how we react to it. People react in different ways: anger, revenge, shock, and destructive behavior are just a few. We do not seem to cope very well when our lives and the lives of our loved ones spin out of our control.

In the past I have been able to see that no matter how bad an experience, something good can come out of it, though it sometimes takes awhile to see. Somehow while dealing with Ed’s illness and death, I forgot that part of myself that kept me centered and able to cope with the unexpected and painful events of life.

Funny how things have a way of manifesting just when you need them most. The PBS special I spoke of with Bill Moyers, was a series of discussions with Joseph Campbell called ‘The Power of Myth’. It discusses how man makes sense of his world. I had taped parts of it back in 1988. Last week I purchased a copy of the entire six part series. Many answers that I had forgotten in my grief came flooding back. I even heard Joseph Campbell quoted on TV this week: “We must let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the life that is waiting for us”. Most of us thought we had our lives well in hand. And then Covid! Our lives were changed drastically, loved ones died and the whole world became a seething cauldron of fear and uncertainty.

Which brings me to HOW? We can’t change the past but we can move forward to learn and grow and embark on a new stage of life – a life after Covid. As I stated before, the kids have the right idea, they see a need and fill it. They don’t seem to be crippled by the whys? And yet so many children and adults are still caught in the chaos of a world run amok. HOW do we help? First we learn to look forward and not back. We change our mindset from finding fault with people and situations to seeing how we can make a difference, “the Timber Valley Way”. Several years ago I wrote a song that we performed in the clubhouse to welcome back snowbirds:

Welcome Home Again

Welcome home again, we’re glad you’re back in town.
You’ve been really missed, so come and sit around.
Renew your old friendships, leave your cares behind.
Welcome home again, you’ll have peace of mind.

Welcome to the park, won’t you come back in/
We’ve waited oh so long, to welcome you again.
We’ve been waiting here, so you can all attend.
Good times in Timber Valley, where friendships never end.

Our doors are always open, to friends we care about.
We’ve all become one family, of that there is no doubt.
Come and join us now, see what you will find.
In Timber Valley Park, built with you in mind.

We are already noted for the way we are a family. We come together to do our individual parts to maintain our park and helping and caring for each other. Even though we are all different in our views and beliefs, we are still all a part of the whole. Sometimes when life gets tough and very scary we forget that. How and what do we do? Just changing the way we think, let go of the fear and believe that things will get better. Life will be good again if we are patient and caring.

I’m coming out of the fog and I see hope and life ahead. Know that each of us is loved and respected no matter our personal views. We are a family. Though battered and bruised and many still in grief, we will be OK.

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6 Responses to HOW – A Sequel

  1. Fred says:

    Ruby that is a beautiful article. Sometimes, though, as we navigate the highway of life, we have to briefly check the rear view mirror. We need to know what we left behind before we can appreciate where we are going.

  2. Dar Hoch says:

    Thank you Ruby for another wonderfully written and thoughtful article.

  3. Jackie Jones Lot 102 says:

    Great story Ruby. Can’t wait to give you a hug my sweet friend.

  4. Nick Palmer says:

    Another great article Ruby. Thank you

  5. Kathy Perry says:

    Ruby, as always you give us much to think about. Glad your are coming g out of the fog

  6. Reggie #115 says:

    Thank you Ruby for a precious reminder to all.

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