How I Became a Cult Member

by Sharon Elliott

Be forewarned, this author thinks in satire and writes in cryptic. In the event you are ultra sensitive or insulted by the use of some words, I suggest you skip this effort to be humorous.

So here’s what and how things happen. My daughters were informed that their mother was homeless, living on the street and had been taken in by a cult. A car engine in Eugene revved and wheels squealed  as one offspring took off for a drive south. Two other girls made airline reservations from both Columbus Ohio and Pittsburgh to Eugene, rented a car prepared to follow the first sister. All the while there was a lot of texting back and forth planning for an intervention.

The above happened as a result of a conversation with my great granddaughters. One asked “Grandma where is your house?” My response was “I don’t have a house.” Then I was asked “Do you live on the street then?” My response was “Yes, I live on a street.” Next the question was “Do you have friends?” I said “Oh yes, I am surrounded by people that look a lot like me.” Their father, in attempt to be funny told them “She lives in a Cult.” He then sent a text to my daughters and related the conversation in a manner that they believed their mom had lost it.

Now lets review the truth. No I do not have a house but I have a snug and ample home. I do live on a street, Hummingbird Lane and do I live in a cult. I looked up the meaning of a cult and this is what I found. A Cult is a derivative from the word Culture and is made up of a group believing in the same norms and values. So yes that word fits too. (Timber Valley SKP park has as its purpose to provide a low cost place to live for pleasure, recreation plus charitable and cultural opportunities)

How is our Cult alike and different than some more of the historical groups. Remember the Hale Bop Group. Well some of us wear white tennis shoes but not at the same time. We have a governing body but they do not serve Kool-Aid at the meetings. Thank goodness.

We are not only considerate of each other but tend to be concerned and loving toward our neighbors and friends. If we become aware of a need, we step up and fill the need. 

Our Cult’s physical neighborhood is spectacularly beautiful with tall trees, and vistas. There is a wonderful path through the woods which takes us into nature. The area is teeming with animal life like deer, birds, squirrels and an occasional bear or cougar. Then there are turkeys. No not the speeders but the two legged multi-colored feathered type. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and even though we cannot join together for  turkey dinner with all the trimmings there will be soup. Giving up a traditional event this year will hopefully assure one next year.

Until now I have not considered myself a cultist but I feel honored to be a member of this place.

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8 Responses to How I Became a Cult Member

  1. Sue & Skip says:

    I so enjoyed reading your article which I will share with our children and grandchildren.
    Yes, we too are proud to be living in this “culture aka cult”.

  2. Suzanne & John Budovec #123 says:

    Lovely! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Fred says:

    Sharon, this is the best description I’ve ever heard. The majority of people will not understand what SKPs are and maybe this will help them understand what a special bond we all have.

  4. Elvis says:

    TVSKP is a great place to hide – being an escapee and all…
    This was a very fun read.

  5. Jacquelyn Deal says:

    congrats , Sharon. I always knew you were someone “different”; I mean special! Do you have a sub-cult group[? Can I join? Thanks for the Thanksgiving message.

  6. Jill Goldman says:

    Sharon, I am a TVSKP wannabe #22 on the very slow moving list AND your essay explains why. Thanls for putting my thoughts into words.

  7. Richard & Debrann Hickethier says:

    Hi Sharon,
    Great story. We’re looking forward to joining the cult(ure).
    AWL 117 and counting (down).
    Sorry we missed the soup.

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