Cold Weather III

Posted on April 11, 2021 by webadmin

When you live in Florida there are certain things that seem to be mandated by law.
In no particular order, they are sun, humidity, bugs, time share sales, and visitors. Particularly in cold weather. Particularly when you live within an easy drive to the Mouse House.

Our friends from up north, the Palmers (not their real name) came for a short visit one January day. Now, Harry and Mary are wonderful people. Do anything for you.
Their five, fourteen months apart children were difficult. Actually unmanageable. No, let’s try untrainable. No, that doesn’t describe them. Give me a minute to consult Steven King.

I guess you get the picture.

We were trying to have some adult conversation as the pack ran roughshod through the house and yard. Harry and Mary were oblivious as they were used to the chaos.

At the time we had a small dog named Bandit. He was a Lhasa Apso but everyone thought he was a Shi Tzu. I said he was a Shi Tzu not. When Bandit’s walk time approached, my darling wife suggested I take the kids with me. For a nice long walk. A very long walk. Really long.

Away from their parents, they had an abrupt personality change. They were quiet, polite and somewhat intimidated by being with a strange adult. I explained that they had a big part to play in our adventure. I explained that Bandit was not used to being with kids, so when we got to THE spot, they would have to squat so Bandit would be comfortable doing his business. As we approached one of the busiest corners in town, I saw it was time. Squat, I said. Squat, they did. In unison, five children and one dog squatting on cue.

Cars tooted, walkers applauded, bikers gave thumbs up. It actually worked. Being the responsible adult, I took on the job of disposing of the evidence. I gave it some thought, but I didn’t want to push it…

When we returned home, these now totally intimidated kids very quietly and politely bragged about how proud they were of helping Bandit poop.

Many times during the ensuing forty plus years, when we saw misbehaving children, we would look at each other, and remember when Bandit’s poop patrol tamed five untamable kids.

—
Fred

 

 

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest, Humor | Tagged | 7 Comments

IN MEMORIAM, JERDIS LARSON

Posted on April 10, 2021 by Jackie Deal

“He will be missed”. Jerdis Ray Larson will be missed not only by family but by his many friends in Timber Valley R.V.  Park.  Jerdis and Joan moved into Timber Valley in 1991 after retiring and beginning to travel full-time in 1986.  Jerdis and Joan were married 64 years; he was a Navy veteran. Jerdis passed away peacefully from a heart condition on April 7, 2021 at 88 years of age.

Jerdis, Joan and their three daughters, Kay, Donna and Jennifer, lived in Santa Cruz, CA and often spent the summers in a cabin in the wilderness area of Idaho. Jerdis was a carpenter and taught his daughters to do home repairs and build many things. His daughter Donna said, “You didn’t know how valuable Dad’s advice was until you couldn’t get it.”  Kay, who came from North Carolina to see her father and be with her mother, quietly said, “We’ll miss him.”

Jerdis was known in Timber Valley for the beautiful wooden hand-crafted Pegs and Jokers sets that he made.  He was an avid game player and never missed a bingo night where he helped Joan do the calling and frequently won. As Joan said, “He partnered with me.” Most of us knew him as a quiet, gentlemanly, friendly man.

Jerdis was preceded in death by his daughter, Jennifer Martin, and is survived by daughters, Kay Smith and Donna Larson, by 6 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren. Joan will continue to live in Timber Valley where she has many friends and will frequently visit family.

 

Posted in General Interest, Members, Obits | 11 Comments

Landscape Work Session Starting

Posted on April 7, 2021 by webadmin
Landscape Committee Work Sessions Starting
It’s that time of year to get our Park spruced up.  The Landscape Committee will start meeting for work sessions every Friday at 9:00 am starting this Friday, April 9.  Meet at the Clubhouse. Members and Non-members alike are welcome to help weed, rake, trim, prune, and plant. Most tools are provided, just come with work gloves. 
Landscape Committee
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Covid Vaccine Locally

Posted on April 5, 2021 by Dick Shanahan

AVIVA Health Service will be administering vaccines at the Sutherlin Community Center, 150 S Wiliamette Street, on April 6th and 8th. Times are 8:00 AM to 11:30 and 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM both days.

An appointment is required. Call 541 672-9596 to make appointment.These are available for anyone age 18 and up.

Thanks to Peggy Russell for this information.

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IN MEMORIAM, JERRY WILLIAMS

Posted on April 3, 2021 by Dick Shanahan

Jerry Williams resided in Timber Valley SKP Park from April 25, 2012 until his passing on March 28, 2021.  He is survived by daughter Inez Williams of Sutherlin and son Doug Williams of Oakland.    Jerry was born October 10, 1936 in Oklahoma but lived most of his life around this area.  He was a log truck driver for Gene Whitaker.  He loved motorcycles and rode until the last couple of years.  Jerry enjoyed the animals in the park.  He had one squirrel he named “Greedy” that he fed and his daughter is now having to feed the squirrel who comes looking for the usual handouts. Jerry will be missed by family and friends and his pet squirrel.

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Covid Weight Gain

Posted on April 2, 2021 by webadmin

by Ruby Bonham

My dog has Covid Weight Gain!  How did my slim , trim and healthy dog expand to over twenty pounds.  We will NOT discuss her owner’s weight gain.  I have heard the chatter around the park of the human weight gain but now it seems to be affecting pets too.  Just as we humans try to explain it, I have tried to reason out why Dolly now answers to the name Chubby.  DeDe (chihuahua) has remained pretty steady.  Now to Dolly.  Initially I thought it was because she grieved so hard at loosing her Daddy (Ed) or maybe it is because she just turned ten.  Could it be because we don’t walk in the rain. 

She now eats Weight Control food and I have cut down on treats.  So far she has not lost an ounce.  I now break up her treats so she is getting the same number but not sure she is buying that.  DeDe runs to claim the big dog bed and Dolly makes do with the smaller one.  It is kind of cute to see her try to curl up in the smaller bed but her belly is too big to curl!  Usually she lays on her side and hangs over the edge.  If she is lucky enough to get to the big bed first,  DeDe simply pushes in beside her and ignores her grumpy grumbles.

A couple of days ago I started giving healthy treats like fruit and veggies.  DeDe likes everything.  Dolly’s first offering of banana was funny.  She picked it off my hand but curled her lips to avoid touching the nasty thing and spit it out.  She gave me a look that said she was offended.  About the third time DeDe reached for it so she decided to eat it, a tiny bit at a time.  She now eats bananas but then comes to me and says “where’s the real treat? Due to Covid isolation I seem to spend a lot of time talking to my dogs and trying to understand what they are trying to tell me.  It is a work in progress and Dolly clearly indicates that I am a slow learner.     

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest, Humor | Tagged | 2 Comments

Ailurophile

Posted on March 31, 2021 by Jackie Deal

by Jackie Deal

Yep, I’m an “ailurophile.  Don’t call 911 and it’s okay, I’m not contagious.  An ailurophile is a cat lover.  I’m unemotional, pragmatic, blah, blah, blah; no way could I fall in love with a cat. But there it is, this ten pound black and white tuxedo cat has me hooked by her little white paws. 

By no means am I alone, in 2016 it was reported that there were 90 million dogs and 94 million cats as pets in the U.S. I’ve just bought Amber (my Cat) a scratching post, some new food to try, a new stuffed mousie, some catnip and a (supposed) laser-light toy.  Before you laugh at my expenses how about this?  “The average cat owner spends more than $1,000 annually on each furry friend.”(from Todd Hafer’s delightful book “101 Amazing Things About Cat Lovers”.)

The “supposed” laser toy? My friend Pat had a laser beam that her cat loved to chase around the floor.  The one I bought turned out to be just a tiny flashlight and Amber watched with glowing yellow eyes….my hand and the beam coming from it.  Forget the floor. 

However the scratching post was a big success. I sprayed it with catnip and Amber fell in love.  She scratched it, wrapped all four paws around it, climbed it, bit it, licked it and had a ball. Here’s hoping it will save my one upholstered chair. 

A lot of famous Americans were cat lovers.  Abraham Lincoln was said to feed his son’s cat Tabby with a golden fork at White House dinners.  And of his cat Dixie he said, “She is smarter than my whole Cabinet.  And furthermore she doesn’t talk back.” During the Civil War when visiting General Ulysses S. Grant, Lincoln rescued three freezing kitten and brought them back to join Tabby and Dixie.

Winston Churchill‘s favorite cat was named Nelson and he bragged that it could chase away dogs.  He also had a cat named Jock who ate at the table with him and Churchill would not eat dinner until Jock was present.

I may be an ailurophile but I don’t go to those extremes. I’m determined to teach Amber that she is NOT to climb up on the kitchen sink.  Any other high perch is fair game but I draw the line at sharing my food prep’ area with paws that have been in a litter box.  Amber is not so fastidious; we’ll see who wins. 

 

Posted in Featured, General Interest, Humor | Tagged | 3 Comments

Clubhouse Use Guidelines from the Board

Posted on March 30, 2021 by Thom Hoch

Due to recent improvement in the number of new Covid-19 cases in Douglas County, this is an update and clarification of guidelines for the use of the Clubhouse as of this date.

–> The Clubhouse remains closed for all social activities.

* This closure does not include the Laundry Room.

* Masked individuals may enter the Clubhouse to purchase beverages, an ice cream and may use the Library and Restrooms.

–> Current Standing Committees may hold “in-person” meetings under the following rules:

RULES FOR STANDING COMMITTEES USING CLUBHOUSE
#1) Clubhouse is open to committee meetings of standing sub and ad-hoc committees.
#2) Meetings must be held in the main meeting room.
#3) Strict social distancing must be practiced at all times.
#4) Masks must be worn be everyone present.
#5) Maximum of 23 participants in meeting room.
#6) A social distancing monitor must be appointed and named in the committee minutes.
#7) The person calling the meeting is responsible for area sanitation at the close of meeting.
#8) If microphones are required, the Sound Crew must be notified ahead of time.

Check with the office if you have any questions.

If we stay vigilant and new cases continue to drop, and with a little luck, we may see further improvement as more of our population is vaccinated.  We all look forward to an easing of restrictions as Spring turns to Summer.

Thank You for your Efforts!

The Board

Posted in Announcements, General Interest, Members | Tagged | 4 Comments

A Brief History of Time

Posted on March 30, 2021 by webadmin

A Brief History of Time, by Fred Prout
With apologies to Stephen Hawking. Don’t yell. (Sorry,I couldn’t help it.)

Time is not measured by day or night. Or months, years, or seasons.

It used to be, but no more. The past year, many of us realized that time was comprised of rapidly vanishing weeks and months, made up by seemingly thirty seven hour long days. Days drag. Weeks fly. As an unwillingly single man, I find that my perception of time has been determined by one thing.

Laundry day.

I don’t like doing laundry. I hate doing laundry. I inherited the job several years ago even though I’m not mentally qualified for it. Twelve water temperatures? Separate colors? Now you are certainly entitled to your opinion. And I respect that. But, it’s illegal, and I’m not doing it. And if the laundry feds come to check, I still have the pink hankies for proof.

Now, before leaving Timber Valley, I started retiring some of my long time friends and loyal servants. Well worn underwear (Brief history? Get it? ) and socks.
Not all at once. One package at a time. Retiring does not mean disposing. It means going into their own little drawer to hopefully never be called on again. Just be there at rest. Just in case.

My strategy was to buy one package of each when they were on sale at Costco. Save $2.00, get free lunch (remember that?) and usually run into at least one friend to talk to. (Remember that?)

The problem with my strategy, I found, was that no manufacturer of socks or underwear would package seven (that’s one week, folks) together. Nor would they package the same number of either. So it’s impossible to end up with the same number of both.

My goal was to not have to do laundry more than every two weeks and have a couple of days in reserve. Just in case. Plus the retirees. Just in case.

The other problem with my strategy was that different brands went on sale at different times. Gotta buy the sale, right? Not a problem with the socks, and at first, not a problem with the underwear. Until the last sale to complete my fourteen plus.

I will mention the brand, Puma, for all you guys who may fall victim. You may thank me if you wish.

What they failed to mention on the package was that they did not include a fly. There was a picture,of course, but I didn’t want to stand in the aisle of Costco and search for where the fly should be. Nor should I have to. I didn’t even think about it when I opened the package and put them on for the first time. Very comfortable. Almost silky.

Now I don’t think I’m alone in dressing before I have breakfast and four cups of coffee. Which is what I did that first day of Puma. Oh boy! Coffee and breakfast does not have the same predictably as a lemonade slushee on an empty stomach.
But it does have the same inevitability. Ready, set, go.

I’m glad I was at home (where else these days) because if I were in a public restroom, the desperate grabbing and groping trying to find a nonexistent fly, would have, at best, been embarrassing. At worst? I might have called you for bail.

Now, I know the answer to the problem. Cut my losses and replace them at the next Costco sale. Don’t retire them. Dump them. Well, I don’t mean dump. Get rid of. But, coming from a generation that made things last as long as possible, that’s not easy. It goes against nature and years of habit. I know Costco has a very generous return policy, but….. no, I couldn’t. Not with a straight face. Could I ?

In the meantime,I will have to be aware of my underwear. Hey, that rhymes. Another Seuss coming?

A Seuss Laundry Day

Oh my, oh my, oh my I say
This is the dreaded laundry day

I get my clothes I get the soap
The washer’s free, I hope, I hope

Put in the soap, put in my stuff
It fills the basket just enough

So back and forth the water’s sloshing
As I sit and watch, my lunch I’m noshing

So finally clean, into the dryer
Go round and round and please don’t tire

This job I hate, I really hate
I start real early so it won’t go late

And now it’s dry and ready to fold
This stupid job gets really old

And as I sort, I have to try
To check the undies with a fly

Cause much I did learn from the past
The ones with flys do go in last

So they sit on top and come out first
Cause once before, I almost burst

When I really wasn’t aware
Of not having a fly in my underwear.

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest, Humor | Tagged | 9 Comments

His Mama was a Chicken

Posted on March 29, 2021 by webadmin

A Short Story for Kids and Seniors by Ruby Bonham

The little Silkie chicken squirmed on her nest.  That one big egg was about to wear a blister on her bottom side and she was sure she was getting a cramp in her leg.  All of her eggs were Silkie size except one and it was Huge.  She sighed and wriggled a little more, finally getting almost comfortable.  She would sure be glad when those eggs hatched.

Something moved under her and she peeked cautiously underneath.  “Oh my, the big egg is hatching,” she called to her hen friends.

All her friends gathered round and watched as the egg began to crack and pieces fall out of the shell.  A yellowish head flopped out on the ground and the mother hen nearly fainted at the sight.  Surely that thing couldn’t be her baby.  It was big and ugly.

“Cluck,” said the other hens.  They were trying hard to think of something nice to say.  “Er, congratulations,” said one.  “He’s so big,” said another.  

The little hen settled back on the baby to keep him warm.  “Maybe he’ll look better when he dries off,” she thought.  “Oh please let him look better,” she silently pleaded.

Several hours later, the baby poked his head out from under his mother.  He was quite large next to the other babies and had an ugly bump on top of his head.  “Peep,” he said in a deep voice.

The mother hen jumped at the sound and thought she would die of embarrassment.  The other mothers tried to be kind but found it hard to find nice things to say.  No one had ever seen a baby quite like this one.

The other baby chicks didn’t seem to mind, for they were brand new too and didn’t know how to be unkind.  It was true he didn’t understand “Silkie” very good but that was OK.  He had a booming voice some of the chicks envied.  Everyone listened and got out of his way, even when they didn’t know what he was saying.

The mother was a kind, gentle mother and did her very best to teach him how to be a Silkie.  He was so big that when he slept under her wing, he poked out the side.  He had a hard time understanding her and often she would end up standing on her toes and yelling.  Finally he would get it and do as she wished.

All the other babies tried to help with his lessons.  He tried very hard and learned to do most chicken things.  He was still clumsy and slow but the babies liked him anyway.  He had nice long legs and the bump on his head grew into what looked like a bouquet of flowers.  He was rather handsome in a strange sort of way.

One day all the silkie babies were outside the chicken house, scratching in the dirt.  “Mama, mama,” yelled one of the babies.  “Come quick.”

“What’s the matter?”  The mother raced outside, heart pounding

Look!”  yelled the baby.  “There’s a line of babies with that big bird that look just like Junior.”

Sure enough a huge mother bird was walking by and following behind were four babies that looked just like Junior.

“Oh my,” gasped the mother Silkie.  “That’s a peahen.  Junior must be a peacock baby.  How on earth did his egg get in with mine?”

Junior just stood with his beak hanging open, watching the line of babies and mother go by.  Finally he asked, “Mama, am I like those babies?  Do you mean I’m not a Silkie?”  His voice was shaky.

“Yes, you must be a peacock.  It doesn’t matter though, because I love you and you will always be my baby.”  She ruffled her feathers around him.  

The other Silkie babies were very impressed and Junior became their hero in the chicken house.  When he was all grown up, he was taken to live with other peacocks and he learned to speak “Peacock, but he always spoke with a “Silkie” accent.

Ruby Bonham
1998
     

Posted in Creative Work, Featured, General Interest | Tagged | 4 Comments